Thursday, July 1, 2010

It Was Never Truly Over - Part 2

**This may be triggering so please proceed with caution**

The first few weeks in this new home was very strange. There was always at least three other people with you at all times. There was constant noise. We had to learn ASL (American Sign Language) to communicate with our new sister who was deaf. We had to go through the testing process in the public system to see what grade we were to be placed in. Religion was thrown at us from the beginning and before we knew it we were baptized into a church we knew nothing about. Everything was very overwhelming and I was not coping well at all.

Ash seemed to fit right in with everyone. They all loved and adored her. I wasn't jealous of her because I didn't want to be the center of attention and I didn't trust anybody but her.

About a month after living with our new family, we learned of the cult our new mom was a part of. I am not sure what they did with the younger kids that were brought to them, but with the older kids they sold them for sex. I soon became the most requested girl among the cult and in the small town we lived in. For whatever reason, our new mom kept Ash from this evil. In our mom's eyes, Ash was the perfect one who should not be touched.

This is really difficult for me to write and I am leaving so much out because it is so difficult.

Sometimes at home, our mom would force one of our brothers to rape me. Mom would also tie us up in the basement for days without food or water and without clothes so we would get very cold and weak. Mom separated Ash and I so we did not share a room anymore. That was the first time I had ever contemplated suicide. There was no way I could survive without my sister.

We were placed in the 6th grade when school started in the fall. We were at a charter school in the neighboring town. That was where I met Bee. She came up to Ash and asked if we would like to play tetherball with her. Ash of course said yes right away. I hung back and did not want to talk to Bee. Ash talked me into coming and watching and I reluctantly agreed. Bee and Ash became best friends almost instantly, and Bee would constantly try to get me to talk to her or play with her but I couldn't. I didn't have enough in me to trust anybody else. Every night, Ash would sneak into my room after everyone else had gone to sleep and she would tell me how good of a friend Bee would be for me. That I should trust her.

About a year after we had first met Bee, I finally started responding to her when she would talk to me. By that time, Ash and Bee were best friends. I started to want another friendship like that.

In the middle of our 7th grade year, we had to move. We moved to a different state to another very small town. The abuse got much worse after that.

To be continued...

3 comments:

  1. Just to add to your story about meeting me...When I was younger I could pick out other kids who were being abused pretty badly because of how I felt and how I saw myself in the mirror. So when I saw these twin girls sitting against the wall at the kindergarten playground, I just knew. I got up the courage and walked to them and asked them to play tetherball with me. Ash was super nice and so easy to talk to. I think she new I was being abused as well. But every day I tried to get Bry to talk to me and each day she would just stare at me like I was crazy for even attempting. Now it's weird to think that she never talked to me because we talk about everything all the time. We became really close after Ash was murdered because it was such a hard time for both of us, but especially Bry. I'm so proud of you friend! It is amazing to see you writing and healing.

    -Bee

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  2. Brynne,
    My heart aches for you. I was also sold for sex by my father. It is something that should never happen to anyone. I'm glad you are on the path to healing. I'm glad you have Bee in your life.

    Sunshine

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  3. Bee-
    *smile*

    Sunshine-
    That is terrible and I am so sorry it happened to you too. I'm glad I have Bee too =)

    Brynne

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