Lousy Best Friend

I have been the worst best friend these past couple of months. I'm used to having a lot on my plate and I don't have a problem with always being busy, but I have ALWAYS had time for my best friend. If she called me and needed me to come or wanted to come to me, I would always find time. If she was having a bad day I would bring her a treat. If she accomplished something she had been working towards for so long I would make sure I was there to cheer her on. I would always make time for her.

Right now I've been so focused on my brother's wife (she has liver cancer) and their family, plus my new baby girl and my other 2 girls, plus my husband, plus one of my sister's who had to have surgery recently, plus therapy sessions. I simply can't find the time to be there for my best friend.

I missed her college graduation.
I missed her finishing student teaching.
I missed her getting her first "real" job.
I missed shopping with her for teacher and school supplies.
I missed her graduation party.
I missed her several calls to my phone. Her voicemails telling me of these accomplishments and wishes.
I missed the opportunity to be there for her so she could cry on my shoulder when she lost a very close friend.

I have missed so much these past few months and I'm afraid of growing apart from my best friend. I've known her for more than 12 years. How could I miss so much in such a short amount of time?

Bee, I am going to do better starting now. You deserve that!

Just Some Thoughts

Wow I just really suck right now at keeping up with my blog... So much is going on right now in my life that it's hard to find the time. I have three of my younger sisters staying with me right now and it has been crazy at my house! I've been able to see my therapist once since I last wrote and that seemed to help me out a lot.

I have set aside a time every morning after I send Kel off to school and take Tey to preschool/day care at my other sister's house, to lay down and relax. I breathe really deeply while listening to Chakra Suite. I fall into a sort of "trance" (for lack of a better word) and I find my alters and we talk. I usually do this about an hour to really hear what they need to tell me and to get to know them better. It has been a huge deal for us and it is really helping. My days are much better and I hardly lose time at all.

This in time, I fear, will not work any longer for us for whatever reason, but for now it's pretty amazing.